2018: Humblebrags and Vain Humiliations So Far

Humblebrag: All my major social media accounts are in good standing nor have ever Ben suspended for violating the Terms of Service Vain Humiliation: I'm banned and/or "permanently suspended" from Venmo, Uber, and Lyft for, umm, undisclosed reasons. (For brevity's sake, Humblebrag will be truncated to +; likewise, Vain Humiliation will be -.) + Dropped … Continue reading 2018: Humblebrags and Vain Humiliations So Far

Stuck-Up Cunt Cage Match: Helen Keller vs. Anne Frank

Nature hated one, fate the other, and God hated them equally. Which bitch was worse?

Whose Reality Is It Anyways

One love to all the ole homies: NO ONE CARES! So who's trying to get pizza and fuck....wait, soo you don't like pizza?! One day you're one the dollar bill; next week you're in the ditch. Nuff said.

Checking the List Twice…

On a lark earlier that morning I went to Walgreens, and couldn't remember jack shit what I wanted: towel papers, Kleenex, Vicks Vaporub (the booger suger recovery pack); a green Naked smoothie—assuring myself I’ve got my bases covered daily-veggie covered- Peppermint Dr. Bronner’s Soap, and Triple AAA batteries. I dazedly stroll past the condoms like … Continue reading Checking the List Twice…

Update:FOLLOW THE RULES

In this car I neglected the oft-ignored; hydras yourself once an hour.

10 Rules for Partying All Day and Night

I don’t party like I used to (I know my peeps wil call bullshit but STFU, peanut gallery!). For real, my partying career is winding down to a close and through all the triumphs, raucous laughter, spontaneous friendships and hook ups, and so many public humiliations, you’ve lost the capability for embarrassment, I’ve picked up … Continue reading 10 Rules for Partying All Day and Night

Suicide Watch Wednesday

Sheesh, March has got everyone feeling blue, but being green isn't much better. One of the tough things about getting old is that hangovers are serious affairs, like adultery. When you get super high, and start doing math: Songs on repeat: Reality Check- Binary Star White Tiger- Hippie Sabotage Post Malone- Candy Paint Work-Gangstar Simple … Continue reading Suicide Watch Wednesday

The Sultry “Stuck in the Middle with Me”Postscript

“...and then McInnes, like an apparition, appears out of nowhere, just drags me through the wringer one more time.  I was hooked--not on any one high--but on the whole process, and each time I swore it was the last.”

Stuck in The Middle with Me 2/2

“...appears out of nowhere, just drags me through the wringer one more time.  I was hooked--not on any one high--but on the whole process, and each time I swore it was the last.

Stuck in the Middle with Me 1/2

I sat up abruptly. “Plus, I’ve to finish this screenplay.”
“I thought you were writing an erotic novel?” 
“Well, no, I’m just living one.”
“Either way, put it off.