Checking the List Twice…

On a lark earlier that morning I went to Walgreens, and couldn’t remember jack shit what I wanted: towel papers, Kleenex, Vicks Vaporub (the booger suger recovery pack); a green Naked smoothie—assuring myself I’ve got my bases covered daily-veggie covered- Peppermint Dr. Bronner’s Soap, and Triple AAA batteries. I dazedly stroll past the condoms like they were tampon shelf; for real, though, I retired from condos 8 years? My jersey’s ahead you in the rafters—why dim the shine of some former glory of mine a decade later.

Anyways, the gay black cashier is being Mr. Sassafras , rushing me ast the candie deals, and some other essential item that had slipped my mind. I tossed my shit on the counter Iike a disgruntled Cartman.

Fuck, am I sure i forgot something?? I convince myself I didn’t’ and chalk it up o the life I chose.

Oh, well That’s drugs to you after awhile.


Later that night crew is usual crews aka SQuaa is there. Kase’face’s friend came along, too, and I don’t mind his com[any at all, cuz he ain’t stand off-oshand just wants receive good energy si he can give that shit right back

Face forward 45 Minutes, SteveO’s phone is drying, and demanding to Cam to dictate the number onto paper, and Cam, flabbergasted, with neither tool in reach, roling-face sorta nonplussed. His face reddens.

Always the giving one, Hayley hands over a Sharpie, then he snatches a non-dirty paper towel from to the top of the trash can in what-thought-was-a-good-example-of-stay-calm-and-resolve.

Then, he flattens out the paper towel onto his hand to have hard surface underneath which to write; however,he did not need to knead this paper at all. This fuckng paper unfurled like Magnan Carta, and was stiff a pair of my adolescent boxers.

It all clicks: I don’t use rubbers, and I hate Cummings inside chicks because… well, ya already know about that rabbit hole.

Steve, completely oblivious to this plywood strength towel paper is drilling out the numbers”

“ 7!…3!..4!”

I was about to step in at this point, the. Steve-O, in sarge mode:


Fuck it. I resign myself to the fact that were both nice guys and sometimes you gotta write shit down on my cum rag, but I can’t say shit then!!

Plus, He already had 6 digits down, and they got business to do?!?

Right as he finished dictating the number, like a divine ephinany, it hit me; fuck I Forgot the hand sanitizer!

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