The Worthless (uyet Time-Consuming) Ruminations of a Pseudo-Genius

–I just ate a pint of gelato on the shitter and now an internal struggle rages on in my innermost soul. Either I have an uncanny ability to combine disparate pleasures that bring me to tears of either joy, OR I’m apparently having an existential crisis of such epic proportions I cannot fathom of an equally humiliating visual for my ego, including my dick size after an ice cold shower.

–Is there such a thing as true female friendship? I think they just team up together to find a mate and then only become friends once menopause and age robs them of their sexual powers.

–If drugs didn;t exist, the more intelligent humans would explore the novelty of the universe t=by fucking animals (probably).

–My unadulterated free speech transforms into a supower on college campuses, in which most of the student population, especially male feminists, mutate into triggered lesbians, behavioral and looks-wise.

–Your semen is a strength, Conserve it and direct it towards worthy goals, or fuck the shit out of women.

–Most millennial dudes can’t even get rock hard boners; Youjizz has melted their dicks into butter left out too long in room-temperature conditions.

–Women lie just as much as much as they tell the truth about sexual assault today. Our fucked up society condemns the accused before a trial has even taken place, even when it is an obvious shakedown, and always aimed at straight white men.

–if you think whites are systematically advantaged over blacks in every aspect of modern life, the media has successfully brainwashed you.

 

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