I was fascinated with the concept of Bitcoin ever since I heard of it: during the infamous takedown of the original Silk Road and its founder, Dread Pirate Roberts (whose legal woes surpass any standard of civility…e.g. he was denied legal representation. Ross Ulbrict was convicted following barbaric judicial procedures, ones that medieval courts would probably find appalling and offensive to God.) Silk Road gained its notoriety as a Craigslist/eBay hybrid marketplace only accessible through the Tor browser that was the internet’s finest purveyor of all things illegal–drugs, weapons, counterfeit money, fake jewelry, passports, etc. Allegedly, one could hire a hitman via its services. However, even though it became the first incredibly successful marketplace of all-things-fun on planet earth since the time of Emperor Caligula, Silk Road’s main contribution to zeitgeist was the Bitcoin. Or, rather, Ulbricht’s sentencing generated a tremendous interest in Bitcoin from Wall Street to 20-something basement dweller alike.

Before the demise of Silk Road, as a green, naive 18 year old, I came with two mouse clicks of purchasing my first dozen or so Bitcoins—at $13 a pop. After the very public sentencing, Bitcoins reached $1400 within two months. My soul ached and my heart wept inside. This was definition Constanza move: to wait so long for the perfect moment that it passes one by.

Still I was granted a reprieve 6 years later. Let’s rewind to 6 weeks ago. Bitcoin has been stagnating at around $1200, just as it had been  for the past two years; still, even the uninitiated were surprised at its success…it’s worth rapidly and repeatedly vacillated just above and below the price of an ounce of gold, the standard-bearer of any sort of monetary value. Ethereum excited the tech nerds to no end, and they kept referring to Ether’s then valuation in the mid $20s. I did some research, and the completely decentralized nature of Ethereum’s blockchain as well as its inventive creation of the smart contract intrigued me enough to persuade to purchase a couple Ether, priced at $40. No worldly event could have precipitated the cryptocurrency that ensued the following three weeks and continues until today. Ethereum first $100 (I sold, prematurely, so that;s just another part of life where I pull the trigger wayyyy too quickly) before skyrocketing to over $200 the week after. Bitcoin’s price took off with some nuclear force, propelling it past the insuperable gold price barrier, and into the stratospheric level $2000s.

Litecoin surprisingly hasn’t moved much at all, circumscribed by the upper and lower bounds of $20-something. Don’t sleep on it, though; after all Litecoin’s designation is to be the silver to Bitcoin’s gold.

P.S. Keep a look out for new ICOS, especially Augur, Gnosis, and Exscudo, and pay close attention to Ripple (the big banks’ favorite horse), Bytecoin, Zcash, and Dash.

Good luck, fuckers! Cryptocurrencies are modernity’s gold rush, and provide greater returns than the crooks on Wall Street will ever be able to show to the public without an impending indictment.

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