Holy Fucks

Two prettycute girls complimented me as I walked by them on the sidewalk today so I turned around and instantly tried to wheel em..5 minutes later, in my sleep deprived state, I invite upstairs to my place, tryna to make it clear this isn’t a tea&crumpets luncheon.
The cute one interjects: “what’s your name again? You can call me Sister Catherine.”

“Sister Mary yada yada” the other one tells me.
I grab their hands and tell them to follow me the 15 steps to my apartment. So for one magical moment my little head’s eagerness was not vitiated by any of my big head’s objections, since sleep deprivation caused a privation in my creativity.

They stop short of the entrance door to my apartment building. The ugly one, crooked teeth, eyebrows precariously forming one uniform patch of hair, insisted sternly on us studying the scripture. They were on a mission their creed required of them of them, fruitlessly approaching strangers and changing their deepest convictions. That’s all evangelism is: a door-to-door salesman. Should cultivate the ability to listen with their eyes and ears. Words are all white noise in the end.

That’s all they saw in me thought…a miserable soul that needed saving and I was the only bum with the time and inebriated politeness to speak with them.

My stomach dropped as fast and hard as my dick had risen only a few minutes ago. Their naivety pained me, because I knew the world would soon inflict immense hurt on their psyches in the upcoming years, and I did not enjoy this dose of prescience, and really preferred ignorance in this scenario.

I wished them good luck as I stuck in the key in the front door and wiggled it in order to activate the mechanism, smiling awkwardly at them the whole time as they yelped, “God bless!”

Phew., I thought, as I ran up the stairs with total alacrity.

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