Blasé Days (Morning Reflections)

Last night I learned some peeps will not see WHOSE reality they're stepping into. Or it could be one short, loudmouth. Anyone really...okay let's say it was a short loudmouth. When you bring nothing but ugly energy to the place even people who recognize don't wanna be associated with you. This is a losing mentality. … Continue reading Blasé Days (Morning Reflections)

Becoming Bukowski

Chasing the ghost of Bukowski and then learning he’s not soo formidable to beat.

Getting Older

Lately, I've been doing things I used to think were gay, like cleaning my room or painting with watercolors.

Derp derp.

"You ever been so high you had to switch your breathing from automatic to manual?" he asks me. I'm choking on smoke and spit, choking a lung out.

Tips for Having a Conversation In Real Life

No phones, plenty booze and other funnies, respect yourself.

The Breakdown of Umich’s Social Scenes 1/5

Greeks: "Are you in a frat?" can be regarded as both sneer and sign of growing curiosity depending on the context. Membership in a fraternity is no guarantor of limitless pussy; renowned for their haphazard ways with women, Triangle T-shirt's turn the nether regions of every female within 20 yards of the owner. Fraternities are … Continue reading The Breakdown of Umich’s Social Scenes 1/5

Lena Dunham’s Dad is an artist and…

Even though there are a million and one reasons to hate her, but seeing fathers art makes you almost feel bad for her childhood. It's like a bizarro, roided up version of R. Crumb: But this is the woman that molested her sister, lied about being raped, and put out the most pretentious show of … Continue reading Lena Dunham’s Dad is an artist and…

My Britney Spears Moment

Can't even have a meltdown in private... So last week I decided to cut my own hair to save some skrilla. But Jesus Christ I tried doing it when it was half-asleep, and here's the end result: Yeah, I look like an outtake from that Jackass skit. I never pissed or shat myself during elementary … Continue reading My Britney Spears Moment

2018: Humblebrags and Vain Humiliations So Far

Humblebrag: All my major social media accounts are in good standing nor have ever Ben suspended for violating the Terms of Service Vain Humiliation: I'm banned and/or "permanently suspended" from Venmo, Uber, and Lyft for, umm, undisclosed reasons. (For brevity's sake, Humblebrag will be truncated to +; likewise, Vain Humiliation will be -.) + Dropped … Continue reading 2018: Humblebrags and Vain Humiliations So Far

Stuck-Up Cunt Cage Match: Helen Keller vs. Anne Frank

Nature hated one, fate the other, and God hated them equally. Which bitch was worse?